So, the other day I randomly tweeted this : Thought for the day: If Rock On had been an SRK movie, Luke Kenny would've coughed blood and died right on stage during the final concert.
To which a friend promptly tweeted back saying it could be made into a whole blog post, much along the lines of that old forward - remember that piece titled 'If TZP had been made by Karan Johar etc' that was doing the rounds earlier this year? That one. So this post was born.
I know this will get me murderous looks from two Bollywood fanatics and Karan Johar/SRK fans I know. But they're too nice to kill me for this (Clearly, I think flattery will get me anywhere), so am risking it anyway...but if you don't hear from me after this post, please call the cops. No, seriously.
Presenting ---
If Rock On! had been made by Karan Johar....(Spoilers galore, but I'm assuming everyone's watched the movie by now)
To which a friend promptly tweeted back saying it could be made into a whole blog post, much along the lines of that old forward - remember that piece titled 'If TZP had been made by Karan Johar etc' that was doing the rounds earlier this year? That one. So this post was born.
I know this will get me murderous looks from two Bollywood fanatics and Karan Johar/SRK fans I know. But they're too nice to kill me for this (Clearly, I think flattery will get me anywhere), so am risking it anyway...but if you don't hear from me after this post, please call the cops. No, seriously.
Presenting ---
If Rock On! had been made by Karan Johar....(Spoilers galore, but I'm assuming everyone's watched the movie by now)
- SRK would be in Farhan's place (naturally).
- There will be more focus on the ego clash between him and Arjun Rampal. A mutual love interest will be the focal point of the drama.
- SRK will get the girl. Arjun Rampal remains heartbroken and single and takes refuge in his music and alcohol.
- When he refuses to listen to Prachi Desai's idea of getting back together with the band, SRK's Maa will be roped in to persuade him. That works like a charm.
- Before they go on stage for the final concert, Maa will feed him Mandir ka prashad and say 'ja beta jaa, Bharat ka naam roshan karo' (don't ask). Okay, this isn't just a K-Jo special, applies to all old Hindi movies in general.
- The 'Tum ho to' song will be dedicated to (no points for guessing) SRK's Maa. Who will promptly proceed to (again no points for guessing) bawl her eyes out.
Climax: At the concert on-stage the last song is on. Mid-way through it, SRK has a coughing fit. There will be blood. From the nose possibly. (That imagery GROSSED me out. Naturally.) Yet, as Maa and wife and the rest of them watch on with their hearts in their mouths, he proceeds to finish the song. Clearly struggling though. Everyone is on their feet screaming his name (Rahul, perhaps?) at the end of the show. He collapses, screaming, 'Maa...!'
*SILENCE* (heartbeat music)Maa rushes to stage screaming, 'Betaa...!' Followed by slower wife (naturally). Hugs. Tears. SRK wheezing and gasping. Grabs mike. Some more tears. Apologises to Rampal for the past and asks him to *gasp* marry Prachi Desai after his death. 'I love you all! The music *gasp! wheeze!* must go on. WE MUST....WE MUST ROCK ON!' Proceeds to die on stage. V.v.sad chorus version of 'Tum ho to...' plays in the background, fade out.
Titles read: And then Joe (Arjun Rampal) married Sakshi (Prachi Desai) and had a baby later and they named him Rahul (naturally!).
The End.
Titles read: And then Joe (Arjun Rampal) married Sakshi (Prachi Desai) and had a baby later and they named him Rahul (naturally!).
The End.
it was a better version than what i had imagined... Gay Jo! I meant Kjo would have thrashed the daylights out of the movie like 'Rock On'. Please man somebody try to ban SRK and Kjo from making movies.
ReplyDeleteFor someone who professed a hatred for them, your version is pretty mild XD
ReplyDeleteTruthfully, while I was reading about the Maa sequence, the image that came to my mind was Farah Khan and her over-the-top Filmi Maa in OSO.
But I don't agree that he'd get the girl. Usually when he dies at the end of the film, he always hands the girl in a silver platter to the other dude before the interval. In fact, your last paragraph reminds me of KHNH's "20 years later"...
...altho that's directed by Nikhil so maybe it's out of topic for this post ^^;.