Hathoda

Got these from friend Kinjal's blog.

-----------------
Q. wat wud an angrez say to his Anpadh hindu naukar if he wants him to open the door!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

A."There Was A Cold Day " (say it fast)
----------------

Why don't most people wake up early.. i.e. when the day dawns.. or sun rises.. butinstead get up when the sun is already shining bright..??
.
..
.
.
Ans.) Because they have realised.. "dawn ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin.. naa mumkin hain.."


------
Q) What did the Kangaroo say when her baby went missing from her pouch?




A) Aiyla!!! Kisi ne mera pocket maar liya!!!!

---------------

Q) Teacher: Name 5 ferocious animals.
.
.
.
.
.
A) Student: 2 lions and 3 tigers

------------

ek sardar ne TV pe dekha k petrol k daam badh chuke haiye
dekh ke sardar tension me aa gaya,
utneme waha dusra sardar aaya and pehle wale sardar ko tension me dekhke bola:"oye tu itna tension me kyu hai?"
1st: "arey yaar, tune suna nahi petrol k daam badh chuke hai, Rs. 52/ltr "
2nd: "o yaar! kya farak padta hai, hame to 50 ka hi dalavana hai na!!!..."

-----------

How wud u kill a blue hathi....?....
........with a blue bandook.......
now, how wud u kill a lal hathi??..
..........
First u will give him poison....n then he will become blue.....then uwill kill him with the blue bandook.....
Now,how wud u kill a yellow hathi?..
.........,,,First u will make him angry so that he becomes red...then u will givehim posion ....so that he'll now be blue....n now u will killl him withthe blue bandook....
Now, how wud kill a green hathi???(worst one)....
......
..............
........ u will make him sick so that he catches jaundice n turns yellow....n then make him angry so that he turns red....n again yes u guessed itright....poison him....he turns blue...n then shoot him with the bluebandook ...


-----------------------



Gabber: Kitne Aadmi they.
Sambha: Sardar Do,
Gabber: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad aata hai.
Gabber: Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai.
Gabber: To beech mein kaun aata hai? Sambha: Beech mein koi nahi aata.
Gabber: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
Gabber: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?
Gabber: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mar do

--------------------------


Santa went to Mysore palace.Tourist guide : Santaji please don’t sit there, its Tippu Sultan’s throne.Santa : Oye! don’t worry yaar I’ll get up when he comes !!