Talking stick - Very nice concept

Communicating thoughts and ideas can be a problem. Others may disagree with you and have suggestions of their own that they wish to eagerly air. The Native Americans had a remedy for this by using a talking stick.

Here’s how the talking stick is used:
Bob hands the talking stick to Sasha. Sasha shares her point and perspective. When she feels Bob has heard and understands what she has said, she will hand the talking stick to Bob (and not until). Bob will not interject his opinions or point of view until he is holding the stick. This goes on until both/all parties have said what they need to say and feel heard.

The whole idea behind is it that you always let the other person who has the talking stick be the speaker, until they feel understood. What happens is that they express their point and their feeling as strongly as they wish. And the other only seeks to understand and restate it to their satisfaction. As soon as they achieve that, then the talking stick is passed to the other person. Then they have the same privilege. And the other person listens to understand. As this goes back and forth, the whole energy changes from being defensive and negative into becoming creative and synergistic, meaning everyone benefits more.

The Indian Talking Stick produces bonding and 3rd alternatives (a new idea, not yours, not mine, but a third alternative).


  1. hey thats a very nice concept..cos many times whats in mind is difficult to express..this concept is the best way to clear wats there in ones mind and get it thru to others..

  2. Thanks Chinmai.
    It is really a nice practical concept. Typically, before you end your talks people will start judging you. They will start agreeing or disagreeing with you. While this talking stick, lets speaker speak fully. While speaker is speaking, others will simply try to understand. They will not agree/disagree. They will just ask questions to have better understanding but they can not interpret or manipulate or judge the speaker.

    I had came across this idea while reading book "8th Habit" Authored by Stephan Covey.


Jaydip Mehta (JD)