Who is more approachable and friendly ??

People with less money are more approachable and friendly.

I know this is quite a bold and generalized statement I am making. But probably that seems that way only because it has been made out of context. So, let me try to put it in context. And may be than I will make that statement again.

Have you ever traveled in normal city bus, or by Volvo city bus ? Or say, by general class of train or by fight ? Did you notice difference in people's behavior in those different way of transportation ? Okay, one obvious difference could be in their look. But lets keep their exterior look keep aside for a time-being. Other than that what difference did you notice ? Well, at least I have noticed this difference in them: as you move from local city bus to flight mode of travel, friendliness and approachability becomes less and less. Have you ever talked with a guy/girl seating next to you in a flight ?? And how many times you have talked with him/her in a train ???

Let me be a bit specific. And give you my example. At least I have never talked with my neighbor in a flight. But for a bus and train mode of travel I have met few very interesting people. Once in a train I had met a guy who was so much talkative and interesting that distance from Ahmedabad to Bangalore had passed as smooth as knife passes through softened butter. That guy talked with me and with other people of my compartment about himself, from childhood till his recent collage time, touching few subjects about vada paav, idly-dosa, mumbai, gujarat, bangalore etc. etc. And as you know I am good listener and I feel like listnening many time, I heard him fully and time passed for me just like that. Not only that, even after our journey had ended he was used to send me an SMS and even he had called me once !! Very nice guy, he was. Only problem was that he was a guy, not a girl :). I wish in my next journey I meet such kind of talkative girl :).

Keeping jokes apart and coming back on the track again. Same is my experience while travelling by bus. Forget about travelling only. Very recently, a UP bhaiya have simply started speaking with me out of nothing. And I really liked it. Because he did not struggle at all to find so called 'topic' to talk about. Usually while talking with few people we need to find third-party-topics to start conversation. What I mean by third-party-topics are topics about indian politics, about Sachin tenduler's century, IPL, rail accident, terrorist, dhirubhai ambani etc etc. Because, few people don't like to talk about themselves or about some thing related to them. Where as that UP bhaiya and my train friend was above that all, they did not need to find topics to keep conversation going. Conversation was simply flowing on its own.

So I say, poor people are more approachable and friendly natured than that of rich people. What do you say? What your experience says ??

*** This post is inspired from my blogging friend Soham's this post.

Feeling like listening

Ever felt like listening to others ?? Just to make sure you understood the question correctly, let me re-iterate. Have you ever felt like listening to others, not feeling to be listened by others ??

I am sure this is very rare kind of feeling. Usually I see people having totally opposite kind of feeling. Where-in they want to be listened ! But what I want to talk today about is, feeling of listening to others. Sometimes I just feel that people around me should just talk, talk and talk. I don’t want them to stop. In fact, when they stop speaking I feel uneasy. I want people to talk may be at my room or at office or may be while travelling in bus or at any other place. I just want them to speak. Speak, about anything and everything. And I just want to be passive.

So, do you also feel sometimes to be listened? Or you are on the other side of it ??

Human beings are been blessed with an ability to learn and explore new things. I am not sure weather other species have this ability or not, but it is immaterial as far as this blog is concerned. So, continuing the discussion, everyday we learn new things. And thus we grow. Sometimes we learn, forget it and than re-learn or re-apply them. And most of the time leaning may seen to be repetitive and would be very very basic or fundamental.

Anyway, without confusing you much, lemme come to the point and publish the things I have learned or re-learnt or un-learnt recently. They are as follows:

- Tell yourself, "Alll izz well" when self-doubt arises.

- Have confidence in anything and everything you do.

- Be and live in present.

- Don't bother much. Live the life.

- Feel what others are passing through. Don't be self obsessed.

Well, need not to say, learnings are never ending. But above mentioned is what very recently I have re-learned. So, how about you? What did you learn very recently?

I have seen him somewhere

How often this question strikes in a your mind in a day, "I have seen him somewhere"? or "I have seen her somewhere"? Probably an alternative question that may be strking your mind could be, "I am seeing him for the first time, but looks like I have seen him. I have met him. I have talked with him somewhere"??

Since last few days its hapening to me many times a day. Now I had to find reason for that, right? Also I will have to know weather this happens with all of you or not, right? And that is for what this post is.

Okay. So one of the reason I found behind this i-have-seen-him-before syndrome is, information overload. I mean, really. Just observe, in a week how many new faces you are seeing? How many in a months and in years. I am sure you will not remembering all of them. Well, I know there will always be exception to this and one of that exceptional case is my friend. He says me, he never forgets faces of girls. He never gets infected by i-have-seen-her disease, as long as girls are concerned. So they are definetely exception to this.

Okay, so now getting onto the track again, I was explaining that the number of people you meet in a week or month or year are getting increasing ever. Lets talk about old days where people were used to devote their whole professional life serving to single organization and getting born, broght-up & died in same town. And just compare it with current lifestyle. Till this time, just count how many rooms you have changed? How many roommates have been changed even thouigh you have never changed your room? How many towns you have lived? How many schools/colleges/companies you have changed? I am sure its gonna be long, really loooong, list. And so it is quite quite natural to get infected by i-have-seen-him-somewhere disease. Same is the case with me.

Recently I have seen someone in my organization, and than came a flash like thought, "I have seen him somewhere". Also with this thought an instant unconscious answer came, "in a hollywood movie I had seen yesterday" !!! Than my conscious mind woke-up roaring, "what the hell?? This man? And in hollywood movie?? Get lost dude. He is not an actor for sure". This battle continues and gets quietened automatically after somtime. But than again suddenly while talking with a friend or while talking on a phone or while peeing (yes while peeing) an answer strikes, "Aha !!! I had seen him in a train and he was my lone companion during my never ending 36 hours of journey of that train".

So this is what happens to me. How often do you get attacked by this syndrome?? And what do you feel is the reason for that??

Ye meri kahani ...

As stated in my previous post, I have started getting suggestions from my friends and colleagues on "what to blog". And obviously I too have list of friends who tell me "what not to blog upon" and who tells me not to blog itself and do some useful things :-). So this post is also an outcome of those kind of suggestions from my friends cum colleagues.

Few days back I simply paused doing all work in whatever status it was and started thinking about some very deep and serious questions. Like, what am I doing, How WAS my life earlier, Where am I right now, Where will I be after some years and how these days will look like at that time, What has made me to be in this situation and place today etc. Well, I know all above things are too heavy to digest for few of you and as per law of nature you might feel sleepy after reading them. But hang-on for some more time. Things of your interest is also going to be there in this post. Okay, so where was I? Ya, I paused my never ending activies, and literaly pushed myself out of it and started thinking about those questions. I did not really got an answer for all of them but it had really made me aware of fact that whatever I was doing is not going take me to place where I want to be. And while continuous stram of thoughts were flowing a thought stuck to me. Why not to re-read my personnel diary and read about what I had written exactly on this same day a year or two before!! I really got excited to read that. Because it would be give me an insight into what I was a year or 2 before and what was my thinking at that point of time and what were my priorites and what things were conceived as a problem at that time and so one. So I opened my diary and here it goes what is been written there :

------

An excellent day. Feeling very very good. Morning wake-up at regular time and went for Guitar class. Reached a bit late to the class because my suryavanshi friend had no sense about at what time we go for Guitar class regularly. If I had not waked him up, he might have got surprised when he wakesup and sees a calender. Need not to say, he had drunk yesterday night upto his full capacity. So when I wake him up he said I am bunking todays' Guitar class. I said, fine. And before I turn back and close his room's door, he shouted wait, wait, wait. I am geting prepared. You wait. Obviously he had not given me any option. It was not a request. It was an order for me to wait untill he gets prepared. I waited patietly and also cursed him for making me late to the class without realizing that because he has made us to go for class late, I am gonna get an oppurtunity to see my "Guitar girl" in today's Guitar class :-0.

[I think this is right time in story to explain you in a bit detail about what those words "Guitar girl" means. So actually in our Guitar class there was a very cute girl whom I have never missed to observe. Unfortunetely her calss timings were as uncertain as any weather forcast. She was changing her class timing almost evey weekend and so I was never able to follow her continuously for 2-3 weekends. I think this much is enough for you picturize her whenever I use word "Guitar girl" in coming story, right??]

We reached late to the class so the central hall was already full of students. So we went into small room next to the hall. I went inside and before opening my guitar cover my eyes had already started searching for her. Had she came early today? Is she seating in main hall today? Had she came in very previous session than us and thus I missed a glimse of her? Questions popped-up obviously and parally I started unzipping my guitar cover. Still Iwas trying to find the face in faces seating in a main hall. No matching results found. So I made-up my mind. I convinced myslef saying, "JD, no problem. This weekend may go in waste. You may not be able to see her face this weekend. "

[Just to give you more idea about situation, typically even if she does not come during our session time, she would definetely come in session before or after us because we had wisely choose to have our session in middle. So, even if she comes in first or last session I would be able to take her glimse atleast during some overalaopping time between sessions. But this weekend we had to come to last session. Because of my friend.]

I started practising song which tutor had taught me in last class without fully concentrating. And than after 5-10 minutes door opened. Was it she? I raised my eyebrows and tried to figure out. But first came some other girl and but than atlast came she. I was like, "Oh....My.... God...." . I didnt know how to respond. And as there was no space in hall she had to come in the our room. I pretended to be concentrating on playing guitar meanwhile I observed that she had seat next to next to me. Because next to me was my obstructing friend. But he was not indeed onstructing today but infact, I was about to thank my frind rather than cursing him for drinking too much last night, about waking up late and about commanding me to wait til he gets prepared.

Than came that tutor. First thing he did after entering our room is to ask me to play song he had taught last time. And he got very happy with the way I have played. Than came her turn. Unfortunetaly she was been taught some different song. And as tutor had already tested how good a student (like me :->) can play, he did not like her strumming. Tutor expressed his feeling openly. At that time I was like, "No worries, I will teach her. Everybody learns after coming onto earth only sir. Nobody is born with it". But I had maintain my silence as control was in hand of tutor at that time. Tutor played himself that song and asked her to play again. But no improvement. She played it the same bad way. (Well, as such playing any musical instrument is not an easy. Its genius like me only who can play it flawlessly :-) . Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.). So left with no option tutor had asked me to play it. Ye hui na baat. I did not know that song, but do you think I am fool to tell tutor that I don't know? No way. I did not want to miss a single chance to impress her. So I started strumming. Now as tutor had already played the song I had remembered first chord of it. I played it very rhythmic so tutor started singing with it and we completed the song and everyone had a smile on their face except her :-(. Which has made me also a bit sad. Sensing her sadness tutor asked her, can you at least sing? She nodded her head instantly and happily as if she is Lata Mangeshkar. And believe me than after when tutor asked her to sing and me to strum the guitar, I was feeling like there is nobody on earth except me and her. Here I am and she seating there. My goodness. And than I started first chord by strumming the guitar. And than she started singing a song. While playing this song, I was feeling like if there is a heaven on earth, its here its here its here. With these kind of khayali pulaav I completed the song. And now as tutor was also happy about her singing, she also had a smile on her face. She had thanked me with her eyes. And I accepted her gratitude. Somehow her eyes were saying, thanks for saving me.

[Now don't you have curiosity to know what was the song that she sung?? It was a very romantic song, "Kuchchh na kaho. Kuchchh bhi na kaho" from movie 1942 a love story :-)]

------------

Well, now don't ask what has happened than after in that class or what happened in next classes. Because unfortunately that class was last class when I had seen her. She had never appeared in any class than after. She might have left classes thinking that Guitar learning is difficult or she might be coming on weekdays to learn giotar more thoroughly or may be some thing else. I donno. But after that I have also left the classes because I was saturated. I had confidence that from here onwards I can learn the thing by myself. And about that Guitar girl I have also not tried to find out what had happened exactly. Because in life, 3 chijo ke pichchhe kabhi nahi bhagneka. Bus Train aur Ladki. What do you say? And I also have found a video related to this fact. See below:

“All Characters and story in itself in this blog post are fictitious. Resemblance to any living or dead is purely coincidental"

Inspiration guru

- Who is your inspiration guru?
- What makes you work harder (excluding your boss)?
- What makes you going ? What keeps you moving?

Tough questions. Isn't it? Ya, tough because probably we never spends time finding answers for it. Ok, so before expecting you to answer them, let me answer them first. So my sources of inspiration are chaiwalas, security guards, autowalas, bus conductors, peons, cook !!!! Surprised? Do you think, I am insane? Well, I am not. Probably you wer expecting Stephan Covey, Robin Sharma, Shiv Khera, Paulo Coelho & all those names, right? Well, those people are definetely an inspirational. But in day to day life they are not the one who makes me going and moving. They are those chaiwalas & autowalas. Just to give you better understanding about what I am saying. below are few experiences which is very inspirational for me. They had changed my mood from :-( to :-). And I hope you will also feel the same while reading it. So here is goes:

(1) Number of years later I called to my previous institute. Everyone & everything, literally, was changed over there during those years and I was not expecting anyone identifying me by my name. So before calling I was like, "how will i intoduce myself", "will receptionist be able to recognize me" kind of questions popped-up in mind. But I thought, jo hoga dekha jayega. So I called and to my surprise peon had received the call. I just said my name and he started talking with me as if two old friends are metting after years. He started asking me, "How are you?", "where were you till this time?", "When are you coming back here?", "Are you still staying late night in office?". I was surprised but I was feeling very happy. I felt very very relaxed after talking with him and felt inspired by the way he talked. He was such a caring person. My goodness. And that is why I am telling, keep doing this buddy, you are my GURU.

(2) I was feeling a bit down after regular stressfull day at office and reached my room. Was not at all in a mood to do ANY work. So I just fell down on my bed and tried to sleep. Meanwhile, I heared our cook talking with my roommate. His words were vibrating my eardrums and that created a miracle. He was talking about his ambition in life. His wife. And the way he said, "tension nahi leneka. Kaam karo aur maje karo bas", has made me stand-up from my bed. It was utterly inspirational. So my dear cook, keep telling that line everyday. You are also my GURU.

(3) Project dead line. Traffic jam. 43 degree centigrade temperature. Some personnel work. And no bike.
That is the situation (described briefly) I was into. In that situation I seen city bus coming. I felt relaxed but tensed. Because as bus approached me I saw more people standing (on their legs and hands) than seating. Few unfortunates were hanging out from door. Few was just fortunate enough to put their one leg on the bus and a shoulder to hold on. Bhed bakriyo ki tarah bus me log bhare pade the. And than I seen a pessenger having mobile in hand and water drops dropping from his body. He was huge in size and thats why he was feeling more hot than others. But in this situation also, he was coolly enjoying ringtones from his cellphone. Look at his hapiness quotient man, even in this worst situaion he was able to manage to listen to ringtones from his old nokia 3310 mobile and enjoy it. Hats-off man. really. And that is why I am saying, keep metting me and inspiring me to be happy in all conditions. You are also my GURU.

Well, there are more of such incidents which I want to share with you. But to keep this blog post length in readble limit, I am cutting it short and inviting you to share such stories if you also feel that they are your inspirational guru.

My updated bucket list

It took me almost 3 months to find my other 3 bucket list items, after I had found my first bucket list item. So here i m presenting my those updated 3 items :


- Own a grand piano
- Work for "Google"
- Be a "Roadie"

Let me also take these items one by one and elaborate more.



Own a grand piano





It was my collage time when this thought had struck me first time. At that time my wish was kind of imaginary than real. What exactly my wish was this : Have a cool house (Umm.. short of haveli) at sea shore somewhere out side India. Have a grand piano. And after getting married me and my other half will play it together and get lost into it. This quite 'dreamy' kind of wish i have reduced to just 'Own a grand piano'. Because I feel that "should be able to play piano" can not be kept as a condition while choosing life partner :-).


Work for "Google"





This thought had stuck me first time after I had started blogging. I came across many blogs related to Google (this is one of the reason why I do blogging. You got to know about many many things) after I started blogging. One of the blogs link i got was Google Blogoscoped. I came to know many things about Google from there. That was first blog I had subscribed to which posts 'Google related' information. Currently i have subscribed to Google official blog, GMail blog, orkut blog, Google reader blog and list goes on. After reading so many things from various sources and using Google products, I completely fell in love with Google. And thus work for Google became my one of the bucket list item. BTW, Google tops "100 best companies to work for" list made by Fortune 500 magazine for year 2008.

Be a "Roadie"

This thought had stuck to me some one or one and half years ago while watching Roadies 5.0. Well, some of you may be thinking that "What ??? He wants to be a Roadieeeeeee ??". OK let me clarify what I like in Roadie. I like their attitude. I like their style of talking, walking and dressing. They show whatever they are. They do not have any problem speaking whatever they feel. I would like to note down two quotes describing their spirit:

"Do not live as if you re king. Live as if no matter who is a king"

"Win as if you are habituated to it. Loose as if you have lost just for a change"

I like all of the rodies because they are different. And that is why being a Rodie is also on my bucket list item. BTW, some of you may not be aware of what is Roadie. Here is wiki link for that.

So whats there on your bucket list? What? You have even not started preparing it? Uff ....

Self image

I am going to do one exercise: writing down of my ten achievemens till now.

I also invite you to do the same. This achievements could be as small as getting highest mark in most frighting subject or as big as getting recognized at Company or University or State level. Keep this paper with you whereever you go (probably in your backpack) and time & again refer to it.

How it helps:
This exercise helps in improvement of self image. It constantly reminds you that, "You are capable", "You can", "You are aleady through many stroms" etc etc.

I bet you, while doing this exercise you yourself will get amazed.
You will be amazed knwoing that,
- Believing in own's self works and it works at its best.
- You have cleared many horrible situations. Current situation is nothing against it.
- You have already achieved many many things in life till now.
... and so on

Encouraging you to do the same.

Things of past

I was revising few of things of past. Like,
- Reading my own written blogs.
- Stay with old friends at their room :-)
- Revising my collage slam book filled up by collage mates.
- Looking at old t-shirt signed by collage mates at last semester.
- Re-reading old emails of my corporate mail account/gmail/yahoo....
- Looking at old photo albums.
- Visiting school friend and talking with him about old incidents.

When doing all these, I realized how far I have reached. Who was I yesterday? And who am I today? I came to know about my strengths and weaknesses. I felt proud on myself. I felt that I have really not wasted my time, I have always invested it for my future. If you have never done it, I invite you to do that and let me know how do you feel.

So when last did you went to past and revised whatever you have leant till now?

HERE NOW THIS

Its all mind game. Mind never tries to keep us happy in present moment. It always keep on saying that I will be happy when I go THERE, I will be happy at LATER point of time not now, I can be happy only at THAT place. And thus we keep on waiting for THAT thing to be with us, to be at place located THERE, for moment which is going to come LATER. Day and night we keep on denying present. Even if time, place and moment for which you are waiting since life time comes, mind says "No no. This is not what I want. Do not be happy now. Here it is very dirty".  Have you ever experienced one thing, when you do your best or say when you are completely involved in some work you will be utterly happy. Even if situation does not go the way you want it to go, you will be happy. Why? Because all miseries lies in not being with present. In present everything all miseries goes away. Misery is in future and past only. Present is always good. Happy.  Full of joy. And so my current personnel goal is to be in present. Be in present. Be NOW. Be HERE. Be at THIS place.

I want ...

- Can you laugh the same way you were used to do when you were in college?
- Are you still getting excited the same way you were used to when you were a kid?
- Have you started feeling few things as childish and foolish?
- Do still have those hopes and dreams alive that was looking easily achievable some time before?


What is preventing us? I am no more laughing the same way I used to laugh. Few things started looking very childish and immature to me now. Why? Probably it requires nurturing and that is what I had stopped doing.

But,
- I again want to be an innocent child who knows nothing but still enjoys everything.
- I want to again be that collegian who has lots and lots of dreams and hopes in his heart and confidence of achieving it.
- I again want that attitude of being ignorant and carelessness and of getting things done without really understanding it.
- I need that energy of enthusiasm back.
- I again want that excitement and feeling of becoming out of control when getting I had got good marks.
- I again want to be out of mood so that someone can come to me and say, "Looks like something has gone wrong today".
- I again want to spend my time talking open heartedly (literally) with my friends sharing anything and everything.
- I want those older days back when I was never exhausted. And there was no difference between day and night.

Really, there is something money can't buy.

Ethos Pathos Logos

Ethos - Credibility

Pathos - Emotion

Logos - Logic

- Ever faced a situation where proposal made by you looks very very logical but gets rejected and you wonder how can this be rejected? 

- Ever faced a situation where emotional feelings you describe seems so much common and understandable to you but person against you is unmoved, untouched by it?

- Ever faced an issue when you propose something and it seems to have been accepted by group of people but not accepted by their heart and mind?

Similar to above mentioned situation will arise when you break ethos-pathos-logos order. In most of our communication we directly jump to communicate logical part of it. We try to explain situation from logical point of view. Means, without having enough credibility or say authority to and without understanding other person's emotional feelings, we try him to convince only on logical basis. By giving statistics, examples etc. But is fails. Why? Because ethos-pathos-logos order is not followed. What that order says is this : First have enough credibility/authority to speak. Than understand feelings of other person. And than give reasoning.

For example, 

- What happens if I start giving logical and convincing advices to say Narendra Modi in my blog saying 'what he should do' and 'what he should not do'? (No credibility)

- What happens when a teacher starts scolding a student asking for logical explanation for undone home work without even trying to understand what has really happened? (Credibility is present but no emotional understanding)

In summary, 

First Ethos - Convince by character.

Than Pathos -Touch an emotion.

And at last Logos - Use proper reasoning.

Since August'07

Since I started blogging in last August'07, it has penetrated my life. On every move I think about it.

I think about it when walking. I think about it when talking.
I think about it when watching (TV). I think about it when roaming.
I think about it when shopping. I think about it when sleeping.
I think about it anytime. I think about it almost everytime.

When watching TV I like something, I think "I will blog about this." When talking with friends I like something, I think "I will blog about this". When doing shopping I don't like something, I think "I will blog about this'.

So my question is, with you also it happen this way? Do you also note down things (in mind) to-be-blogged parallely when doing something?

What do you call it?

- Thinking about some friend and immediately you get a call from him.
- You do not like something somewhere and on next day when you go to that place that very thing is no more there.
- Someone asks a question to a group and out of 10 person some 2 or 3 person gives a same answer simultaneously.

What do you call it?

Ok. I think I was not very clear in communicating whatever I wanted to. So let me give you few examples,
- When passing on the road, you do not like something. Say for example, some hoarding. And very next day when you pass through that road, that very hoarding is been removed.
- 10 friends are standing in a group. One person asks, "So where will we take dinner?". 3 person instantly and in the same manner answers, "XYZ Dhaba".
- You want to wear red shirt but because of something, at last moment you change your mind and wear blue shirt. And when you reach to office/college you realize that almost everyone has wore blue shirts because it is "blue day" in office/college today.

What do you call it?

Whatever I have described above is all about experience. I am sure there will be people out there who have never experienced this and so they will provide enough evidences to prove me wrong. Accepted. I am wrong for them. But let me ask to those who have experienced it. What do you call it?

Recently only I have experienced this phenomenon. Before going to watch "Rock on!!", I had listened to its "Pichle saat dino mein" song. I liked it very much. And so I thought, "SEL has made this song truly rocking. But they should also make an acoustic version of it. The way there is two version of song 'Cuts like a knife', there should also be two versions of this song. One rock version and another acoustic guitar version". This thought just came and went. Than after some days I went to watch "Rock on!!', and as you must have guessed that Accoustic version of song is indeed there in Movie!! I was very happy and joyous to hear that song. I had thought of something and that was really there. It was very nice experiencing it.

So what was your last experience about this?

An emotional response

- When somebody tells you 'yes' but he really does not mean 'yes'.
- When somebody tells you 'ok' but he really does not mean 'ok'.
I call those kind of responses as emotional responses. Its not logical. Its not verbal. Whatever said is not meant really.

Let me give you an example of it.

A kid had bad day at school (because of something) and his dad starts the conversation.
Dad: "Hi honey. How are you?"
Kid replies dryly, "Fine". (he does not really mean he is fine)

Dad : "Hmm .. So what new you did today?"
Kid : "Nothing really ...." (Actually many new things had happened today with him)

Dad: "Ok. Lets have dinner. Wash your hands. Meet you at dining table.".
Kid: "I don't want to eat." (in fact he is too hungry because he even did not had his lunch today in school).

Dad : "Are you sure?"
Kid: "Yes" (his yes is not real yes here)

Dad: "Ok. what are you going to do? Going to sleep?"
Kid: "Um.. I don't know." (he very well knows what he needs to do. He will have to recover from today's events somehow and for that he needs someone who can listen and understand him)

Dad: "Fine. Bye baby. Take care. And if you want any help call me up."
Kid: "Bye. Good night." (here kid does not want his dad to go away from him. In fact he wants him to talk with.)
...
..
..
..
And conversation goes on like this.


Dad does not understand emotional responses of his kid. Dad goes by words. He thinks analytically, logically. He interprets responses by logical mind. But little he knows that responses are emotional.

I encounter this kind of conversation many times in a day. And sometimes I wonder how to handle it. How do you handle this type of responses? In first place, do you believe that person do respond out of his emotion sometimes?

Repect - like - love

Oftenly these three terms - respect, like, love - are misinterpreted interchangeably. A person respect you does not mean that he likes you. Neither a person likes you mean that he loves you.

Let me give you an example:
My South Indian friend asks me to have Dhosa as a breakfast. As being a Gujarati I have never taken Dhosa as a breakfast. I have actually never imagined it in my dream. Now see different type of responses :

If I have no respect for that person:
Friend : Hey, come. Will have a breakfast.
Me : What will be there in breakfast?
Friend : Dhosa.
Me : What ???? Dhosa??? How can you guys eat dhosa as a breakfast??? I am not coming for breakfast. You go.

If I respect that person:
Friend : Hey, come. Will have a breakfast.
Me : What will be there in breakfast?
Friend : Dhosa.
Me : Oh, no yaar, You go ahead. I am not comfortable eating dhosa in morning. May be because I am not habituated to it. You please proceed and have it.

If I like that person:
Friend : Hey, come. Will have a breakfast.
Me : What will be there in breakfast?
Friend : Dhosa.
Me : Ummm.... Ok lets go. Actually, I am not comfortable eating dhosa in morning. But as you have invited me, I can have it. Till now I have never eat dhosa in morning but as you are saying I will give it a try. Probably I will also become habituated to it after sometime.

If I love that person:
Friend : Hey, come. Will have a breakfast.
Me : What will be there in breakfast?
Friend : Dhosa.
Me :
(You will not say anything. You will just press CTRL+ALT+DEL and stand up to go.)


When you respect a person, you acknowledge the difference. But your decision will not be function of his liking or disliking. Your acts will not be dependent on of his likings or disliking. Your response will be something like, "I like behaving like this. I know he does not like my this behavior but I can not change. I will behave like this because I am comfortable doing that."

When you like a person, you will care for that person. Your decision will be function of his likings or disliking. Your acts will be dependent on his likings and disliking. Your response will be something like, "I like behaving like this. Actually he does not like my this behavior and so I will take care of it. I will try not to behave like this from next time"

When you love a person, differences will disappear. His likings is your likings. His dislikes are your dislikes. Nothing is yours. Nothing is mine. Its all ours.

In love, differences disappears. Your likings are my likings. Your disliking are my disliking. Nothing remains yours. Nothing remains mine. Everything becomes ours.

I believe, most of our communication falls in i-respect-you category in personnel as well as professional life. And people are out there who misinterpreates it as either i-like-u or i-love-u category.

Accept and forget - best rule to be happy

What is best rule to be happy? I think, it is -accept and forget.

If something is happening wrong in your life, accept and forget it. Accept that it is like this only and than forget about it. Something is not happening as per your desire. Accept it. And forget it.

Accept that situation is not as per your desire. And forget that it is not as per your desire.

There was happily married couple who was celebrating 50 year of their marriage.
A guy to a man : what is secreat of your happy marriage?
Man : Accept and forget. Sometimes I do wrong and she accepts & forgets. Sometime she does wrong and I accept & forget.

Someone has done wrong to you? Accept and forget.
Someone says that you are not good looking? Accept and forget.
Someone says that you do not have good language skill? Accept and forget.
Someone says that you are not interesting person? Accept and forget.
Someone says that you are always source of problem? Accept and forget.

Do not make those comment part of your being. Many people will disagree with me when I say accept and forget. Because, if manager comes to you and says you something, you can not accept and forget it. :-) Actually what I mean when I say accept and forget it is, accept that you have done mistake. Accept whatever situation is created because of that mistake. Take responsibility of whatever is happening because of that mistake. Accept. But forget whatever comment people are making to you in that situation. Forget if someone has said that you are always like this. Forget labels. Forget categories. Forget divisions.

We live the life where we are forgiving people but not forgetting that we have forgiven them.

Accept and forget -best rule to be happy. What do you say?

Source : Shahbuddin Rathod

I'm a Generous Director, how abt u?

I'm a Generous Director, how abt u?

Hapiness is like butterfly

Happiness is like a butterfly in garden. You like it and you love it. You would like to have it with you forever. And so you try to catch it. You try to follow it. You try to trap it. But more you follow it, more it flies away from you. Try to touch it and next moment it is gone. Instead just seat quitely . It will come and seat with you.

Being part of solution creates magic

Let me start with one real life incident with some mirch masala added from my side.

Time was somewhere around 11PM. Probably 2 years back. We were 6 roommates leaving together. We had 2 locks and each lock had 3 keys. Next day early morning we had to go somewhere. and so it was required to lock the door in morning. Problem was, if we lock the door with lock A only 3 people will be able to open it, if we lock it with lock B again only 3 person will be able to open it. No one was ready to compromise. No one was ready to say that, "its ok if I do not have the key". We all roommate started cursing each other. We started blaming each other. We all were focused on problem. We started finding whose fault it is. No one thought of what to do not. We did not even give a try to find solution. We simply accepted that now we can not do anything, 3 person have to suffer for not having a key. But there was a one guy, who did not participated in our unworthy discussions. And he came up with a solution. He locked the door in such a way that with key of any lock you can unlock the door! He used both of the locks and locked the door in such a way that with key for any lock (first lock or second lock) door will get unlocked! So now all 6 roommate were happy. All 6 had virtual key to open the door. Magic created by him by being part of solution.

Point here is, we are usually too much focused on problems, On what is lacking, On insufficiency of resources. We do not focus on solution. We do not ask ourself, what I had done to resolve issue. Just try one thing for a day or two. Remove all 'if' and 'but' from life. Simply focus on solution. No excuses for a day. No justification. Ask for help, but be part of solution. You are doing something and unexpected result comes. Just think what to do so that this can be resolved. Be part of solution not problem. Identify the problem. But do not stop there. Also think, what will be next step. How can this be resolved. Think about solution, focus on solution. Problem comes, play see it. Analyze it. But work towards finding solution of it. Put efforts to solve it.

There was another incident as well. There is one shop near my room named "Kanti". Its not big high-fi shop. One day there was no electricity and so shop owner wanted to keep all doors open to have air circulation. But problem was, there was no knob on door by which you can stop the door! He said, okay. No problem. If knob is not there, I will create the one. I will tie the door with rope. He tried finding rope. But nope. He failed. He did not find rope. So he again said, okay. No problem. I have rubber bands which should work. He tried tying door with rubber band. But need not to say , rubber band was not strong enough to hold the door. It broke. He again said, okay. No problem. One rubber band is not enough, let me tie it with bunch of rubber bands. He combined many rubber bands and created a kind of chain. And he tied the door. In this attempt, he succeeded.

Moral of the story is, do not concentrate on problem. Do not be part of problem. Be part of solution. While seeing some problem, before complaining about it, think. What you have done to resolve it. When you complain you are part of problem. Be part of solution and see how much easy life is.

Quote from Shiv Khera's Book, "You can win":

When you are digging for a gold, do not look at the dust

Note:
Wondering how can you lock the door in above mentioned way? Ok. First of all, let me tell you, it is possible. Think about it. Try it. If you do not get solution, I will become part of it and give you solution.